Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Kids say the darnedest things

In honor of April Fool's Day (which, for the record, is my least favorite "holiday" - topping the list with Halloween not too far behind) I thought I'd post here a collection of some of my favorite student quotes. Things that are actually funny, as opposed to a lot of the nonsense that you will see on the internet today! : )

I'm a music teacher and my job primarily puts me in contact with high school students and 4th and 5th grade beginning musicians. While occasionally the high school students will come up with some gems, my favorite quotes usually come from the elementary kids.


Quotes Related to my Pregnancy

4th grader: "So when are you having your baby?"
Me: "In two weeks, but technically it could be any time now."
4th grader: "So it could be in three seconds from now! Three... Two... One..."
(Six fourth graders are in the room and they all stop what they are doing to stare at my belly)
Me: "....Well, that didn't work, but I certainly appreciate your positivity!"

4th grader: "Mrs ***, I can't remember anymore what you looked like when you were skinny."

Other teacher to me: "Whoa! Where'd the big belly come from?"
4th Grader: "She's PREGNANT."

Quotes about Life in General

5th Grade Student: "Wait, you like Harry Potter?"
Me: "Absolutely! I grew up with Harry Potter." 
Student: "No way."
Me: "It's true... The first book came out in 1999."
Student: "So wait, if I look up Harry Potter online, it will say that you were one of his friends?"
(In hindsight, I should have said "Yeah, except they changed my name to Hermione for the stories.")

4th grader: "My dad is good at science because he's a farmer."
Me: "My dad is good at science too, he is a chemist."
4th Grader #2: "Well, my dad is a construction worker so he's good at Minecraft."

Me: "I won't be here for orchestra on Tuesday but there should be a substitute."
4th grader: "Why aren't you going to be here?"
Me: "That's my business."
4th grader, whispering loudly to another student: "I bet she's going to the dentist."

Student 1 to student 2: "Is your mom having another baby?"
Student 2: "No, her stomach is just always GINORMOUS."
(A week later, Student 2 was telling everyone about her new baby sister.)

Scene: elementary orchestra students packing up after lessons. Lots of giggling.
4th grade boy: "I'm out of here. I'm tired."
Me: "Why are you so tired?"
Boy: "There are too many girls around here."

4th Grader: "I brought $46 for the book fair today."
Me: "Wow! You can get a lot of books with that." 
4th Grader: "Yeah, and I want to spend it all, even though my mom doesn't want me to!" 
Me: "Well, maybe you should listen to your mom and save it for something big that you want." 
4th Grader: "Like a tank?" 
Me: "........A tank?" 
4th Grader: "Yeah, for when I take over the world." 

Have a good week! : )

1 comment:

  1. I'm am SO behind on blog reading! I LOVE these quotes! Hilarious! :)